I've just had my first 'holiday' since departing these fair shores to go to Australia last January. So, where did I go this time, I hear you ask? Well, sunny SE24 unfortunately. The never-ending debt relief project I am submitting myself to over the last couple of years, that has been so monotonous it would make a Blue Peter take it up as their next appeal, has meant my holiday plans have been confined to my flat. None the less, I have entertained myself sufficiently by pre-booking various events including seeing Porgy & Bess with the Centre Sage crew, various cinema trips to see 'Hot Fuzz' and 'The Queen', in order to update myself before the pre-Oscar onslaught and finally ending my week going to see Rufus Wainwright reenact Judy Garland's famous Carnegie Hall concert at the London Palladium. Yes, quite the gayest event I've probably attended but I've been a big Rufus fan in ages and my flat mate was very keen in going too. A few well placed emails and a phone call meant I managed to secure house seats for the already sold out show, even though I had to take out a small mortgage to get them, they were worth every penny. Not only were we treated to a song-for-song tribute by Mr Wainwright, his sister Martha did a rendition of 'Stormy Weather' and 'Someone To Watch Over Me' and to seal the heavily frosted pink icing on the well mixed gay cake, Lorna Luft made an appearance and sang 'Hello Bluebird' from Garland's last film shot at the Palladium, 'I Could Go On Singing'. Just to notch up the campometer a few more notches we sat next to Richard E. Grant, Tom Chaplin from Keane, who had obviously skipped rehab, David 'Elton John and his partner' Furnish and Mark Gatiss from The League of Gentlemen.
I have, however, developed another 'theatre going crush' on the Musical Arranger/Conductor of the show, Stephen Oremus (see photo left of him with Rufus). Not only has he directed these shows for Rufus but he is also behind the orchestrations for 'Wicked' and 'Avenue Q' he is also irritatingly handsome and has the sexiest mane of brown hair ever to poke out the top of a dinner jacket, ever. (that's the view I got of him for most of the night, bar moments at the grand piano when he played solo for Rufus), Yes, I've become a showbiz whore. Mock me now. Obviously, a totally shallow observation but I've decided his on my Top Five List of BFM (Boyfriend Material) anyway, as I spotted his biography in the Avenue Q programme a week ago and was hooked then. Qualities for being BFM, are not based on looks may I add, but several qualities in order to to sustain a long term relationship with yours truly: • Intelligence (biggest turn on for me surprisingly).
• Individual talent & passion of some kind.
• Personal drive and financially independent.
• Mutual compatibility both physically and mentally with myself.
• Sexy enough to make me want to jump into bed with them.
If it was based solely on looks, then of course more people would appear on the list, like the Abecrombie & Fitch model Joseph Sayers who, as yet, I know nothing about personality wise. He is short and blonde, a huge plus in my books and of course, if he turns out to love Sondheim, loves baking, good food, has wicked ironic sense of humour and watches an unhealthy amount of movies, he can certainly graduate onto the list below. Another example of someone who doesn't cut the grade but find incredibly sexy is Colin Farrell, a person whose face has probably been declared as 'an area of outstanding natural beauty' by the Irish Tourist Board, he would not qualify as BFM, as his bad boy persona would most definitely clash with the BFM characteristics needed to secure themselves on my arm. There are of course, people I actually know who spring to mind immediately but are unfortunately straight or already have boyfriends and I wouldn't dare to share their names in case they found out.
The BFM List for 2007* as follows:
6) Aaron Sorkin - Solely cerebral this one, as this man is a genius with words and I want to be around someone like him. The West Wing is his finest piece of work.
5) Hugh Jackman - nicest man in Hollywood apparently with a chest to sleep on for hours on end. Plus, his version of 'Sunset Boulevard' makes the hair on the back of my neck go funny. I do admit he might be too tall for me though.
4) Elijah Wood - short, as we know and the eyes do it for me. He also has his own record label and apparently is very close to his siblings, which I empathise with. I was told he even 'played for Arsenal' like myself by a reliable source, until it was proved wrong by another recently. Bugger. Or not, should I say.
3) Hugh Dancy - Another Hugh, who acts, models, speaks French and seems a bit posh (a vice of mine) and was darn good in 'Shooting Dogs' He also helped my friend who was on crutches up some stairs at the King Arthur Premiere party. A fine gentleman indeed.
2) Stephen Oremus - An American musical genius whose bum I stared at for 3 hours on Sunday while he conducted Rufus Wainwright, anyone who can deliver music arrangement of that quality is incredibly talented and I'd love to sing by him in an empty theatre as he plays the piano to my words.
1) Jake Gyllenhaal - Everyone's current favourite but I was a fan way before he was 'Top Totty' to all and sundry. Tall, always Donnie Darko for me despite the Brokeback acclaim, eyes you could disappear into and, well, I could go on. I would convert to Judaism for this man. And that would be a commitment. Every mum would fall in love with him if you took him home surely? (They'd probably secretly want them for themselves.)
Okay, I know you're thinking they're all really good looking but, hey, this is my list and my rules and I can do what I want.
NB: If one of you from the list is actually reading this, please do get in touch by all means. This simple course of action takes you immediately to the privileged Number One spot, along with a date one evening, filled with charm, wit and banter with my fine self.
* This list is subject to change. Well, of course it is.
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