Thoughts on the boy Potter...

Okay, what I'm going to say will be considered controversial. Well, not if you're a literary critic, although they have all been quite praising about it I've noticed, but I've just finished the final installment of the Harry Potter septilogy and, well, I have my opinions I'd like to air after being sucked into reading the entire saga these past few years. I suppose I should prewarn those of a fragile idiotic nature who don't want to know what happens to perhaps 'look away now' or maybe the title of this entry should also read *SPOILER ALERT* But lets be frank here, if you didn't think I was going to talk about plot points when talking about the last book and are shocked to learn crucial elements to the story by reading this, then you're a bit of an twat really. Yes, that term was quite eloquent of me, I'm glad you noticed.

I'd like to say now, the only modern children's books I have read are Rowling's Harry Potter, Pullman's Dark Materials Trilogy and The Hungry City Chronicles by Philip Reeves. I have only got into reading these as working in the film industry as it's always good to have a bit of foreknowledge of potential movie campaigns you could end up working on. Although Reeve's Mortal Engines was a pure coincidence and a chance to read a signed first edition for free. Harry Potter has been 'fantasy-lite' entertainment, I realise it's kid's literature and perhaps I shouldn't be so harsh on the material but I think the elevated status deserves some critic, as no doubt the books will be compared to existing classics like the epic Lord of the Rings trilogy or Roald Dahl's various deliciously horrid and captivating children's stories.

Maybe I'm impatient with these books, but I found myself skimming the pages at a hundred miles an hour, perhaps it is merely the style of writing that didn't captivate me instantly and maybe I yearn for more meandering, fantastical passages and clever word play that I remember lapping up as a child. I personally itched a bit when scenarios got repetitive, like the 'camping whilst on the run' parts. The deaths were dealt with in a very real unglamorous way, which I congratulate her for, although I think I did suffer from total memory loss reading parts of it, as I didn't even realise Lupin was dead until he appeared as a ghost with Harry's folks and Sirius at the end. Calling Voldemort 'Riddle' made the final stand-off all the more striking, subtle changes in character dialogue were a clever touch. She should have made the importance of wands more apparent in the other books though, as I felt it certain plot pieces/devices like that were all too convenient and materialised out of nowhere. Bit like in Star Trek when they go "Oh my God we're slipping into a Worm Hole, how about we press this button that will release intermittent tachyon beams that will create a static warp shell." which to me, makes as much sense as me saying "Oh my God I don't have a boyfriend, how about I switch on my toaster."

It's not my favourite book from the series. Azkaban and Goblet of Fire still remain firm favourites. Had the first third been structured in a more entertaining way and punctuated more with other plot lines to build up the tension it would have been the reached the top of my list. My favourite parts were Snape's back story and Mrs Weasley calling Bellatrix Lestrange a "B*tch". How many parents will be self-sensoring that part when they read it aloud to their children I wonder. Still, I'll pay good money to see Julie Walters and Helena Bonham-Carter fight like cats in a bag.

On another note, I apologise for the lack of entries on my blog. It has been a ridiculously long time and have faltered badly on the maintenance front. I have now got a lovely spanking new Powerbook that purrs nicely and allows me to go wireless and even has Final Draft so I can write 'professionally'. I have news on Centre Stage, writing a musical and the usual pointless banter about men and life and will endeavor to write this all up soon into those lovely, little, eloquently written passages I do love to toil over.

A few shots from the show...

It's official...

Don't talk like a slut Shelley...

Those of you may know, I am currently taking extra lessons in tap every Sunday and Monday now. Sunday class is specifically Broadway Tap (more jazz hands and I tend to sweat a lot more essentially). I love these classes, even though tapping is not my strong point, I want get better at it. As Mary Poppins would say, practice makes perfect. Ironically one of my fellow tap dancers in this class is none other than Emma Williams who played the part of Shelley in the West End production of Bat Boy. Emma, for those not familiar with her recent media coverage, was going to 'support' Connie Francis and also play Maria in 'The Sound of Music' when it opened at The Palladium last year. She decided to pull out and lots of media hoopla proceeded, with suggestions Emma not wanting to be seen as an 'understudy' (fair enough to me, if that's the case). Certain papers accusing the show of 'fixing' the reality TV competition. Emma was also the youngest ever female to play a lead in the West End for her part as Truly Scrumptuous in 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang'. I hope she forgives me if I got any of the information wrong just now (and for the fact I've actually put up a link to a Daily Mail article -shudder down spine- something I try not to promote as a rule) Emma obviously knows 'Bat Boy' inside and out and was really enthusiastic to find out we're doing the show. Hopefully, she can come and see the show come June.

More reason to put on great show. No pressure.

On another musical note, I purchased the new Broadway version of 'Company', my favourite Sondheim musical. About a single guy called Robert who refuses to settle down and is surrounded by various couples, all wondering why such a great guy like him is, well, single. Lots of observation about dating, relationships and the ultimate realisation of what it truly means to find someone you can love. (Any similarities to my situation are purely coincidental of course. I can't emphasise with one bit - stop scoffing. Yes, you at the back. Yes, I'm pointing at you. I heard that, take that back right now). This new recording has revamped the original 1970s score whilst still retaining what was true and poignant. Go buy it now. It's a musical for adults who have real problems. Not a single jazz hand in sight but some of the best lyrics ever written.

Come On, Get Happy...

I've just had my first 'holiday' since departing these fair shores to go to Australia last January. So, where did I go this time, I hear you ask? Well, sunny SE24 unfortunately. The never-ending debt relief project I am submitting myself to over the last couple of years, that has been so monotonous it would make a Blue Peter take it up as their next appeal, has meant my holiday plans have been confined to my flat. None the less, I have entertained myself sufficiently by pre-booking various events including seeing Porgy & Bess with the Centre Sage crew, various cinema trips to see 'Hot Fuzz' and 'The Queen', in order to update myself before the pre-Oscar onslaught and finally ending my week going to see Rufus Wainwright reenact Judy Garland's famous Carnegie Hall concert at the London Palladium. Yes, quite the gayest event I've probably attended but I've been a big Rufus fan in ages and my flat mate was very keen in going too. A few well placed emails and a phone call meant I managed to secure house seats for the already sold out show, even though I had to take out a small mortgage to get them, they were worth every penny. Not only were we treated to a song-for-song tribute by Mr Wainwright, his sister Martha did a rendition of 'Stormy Weather' and 'Someone To Watch Over Me' and to seal the heavily frosted pink icing on the well mixed gay cake, Lorna Luft made an appearance and sang 'Hello Bluebird' from Garland's last film shot at the Palladium, 'I Could Go On Singing'. Just to notch up the campometer a few more notches we sat next to Richard E. Grant, Tom Chaplin from Keane, who had obviously skipped rehab, David 'Elton John and his partner' Furnish and Mark Gatiss from The League of Gentlemen. I have, however, developed another 'theatre going crush' on the Musical Arranger/Conductor of the show, Stephen Oremus (see photo left of him with Rufus). Not only has he directed these shows for Rufus but he is also behind the orchestrations for 'Wicked' and 'Avenue Q' he is also irritatingly handsome and has the sexiest mane of brown hair ever to poke out the top of a dinner jacket, ever. (that's the view I got of him for most of the night, bar moments at the grand piano when he played solo for Rufus), Yes, I've become a showbiz whore. Mock me now. Obviously, a totally shallow observation but I've decided his on my Top Five List of BFM (Boyfriend Material) anyway, as I spotted his biography in the Avenue Q programme a week ago and was hooked then. Qualities for being BFM, are not based on looks may I add, but several qualities in order to to sustain a long term relationship with yours truly:

• Intelligence (biggest turn on for me surprisingly).
• Individual talent & passion of some kind.
• Personal drive and financially independent.
• Mutual compatibility both physically and mentally with myself.
• Sexy enough to make me want to jump into bed with them.

If it was based solely on looks, then of course more people would appear on the list, like the Abecrombie & Fitch model Joseph Sayers who, as yet, I know nothing about personality wise. He is short and blonde, a huge plus in my books and of course, if he turns out to love Sondheim, loves baking, good food, has wicked ironic sense of humour and watches an unhealthy amount of movies, he can certainly graduate onto the list below. Another example of someone who doesn't cut the grade but find incredibly sexy is Colin Farrell, a person whose face has probably been declared as 'an area of outstanding natural beauty' by the Irish Tourist Board, he would not qualify as BFM, as his bad boy persona would most definitely clash with the BFM characteristics needed to secure themselves on my arm. There are of course, people I actually know who spring to mind immediately but are unfortunately straight or already have boyfriends and I wouldn't dare to share their names in case they found out.

The BFM List for 2007* as follows:


6) Aaron Sorkin - Solely cerebral this one, as this man is a genius with words and I want to be around someone like him. The West Wing is his finest piece of work.

5) Hugh Jackman - nicest man in Hollywood apparently with a chest to sleep on for hours on end. Plus, his version of 'Sunset Boulevard' makes the hair on the back of my neck go funny. I do admit he might be too tall for me though.

4) Elijah Wood - short, as we know and the eyes do it for me. He also has his own record label and apparently is very close to his siblings, which I empathise with. I was told he even 'played for Arsenal' like myself by a reliable source, until it was proved wrong by another recently. Bugger. Or not, should I say.

3) Hugh Dancy - Another Hugh, who acts, models, speaks French and seems a bit posh (a vice of mine) and was darn good in 'Shooting Dogs' He also helped my friend who was on crutches up some stairs at the King Arthur Premiere party. A fine gentleman indeed.

2) Stephen Oremus - An American musical genius whose bum I stared at for 3 hours on Sunday while he conducted Rufus Wainwright, anyone who can deliver music arrangement of that quality is incredibly talented and I'd love to sing by him in an empty theatre as he plays the piano to my words.

1) Jake Gyllenhaal - Everyone's current favourite but I was a fan way before he was 'Top Totty' to all and sundry. Tall, always Donnie Darko for me despite the Brokeback acclaim, eyes you could disappear into and, well, I could go on. I would convert to Judaism for this man. And that would be a commitment. Every mum would fall in love with him if you took him home surely? (They'd probably secretly want them for themselves.)

Okay, I know you're thinking they're all really good looking but, hey, this is my list and my rules and I can do what I want.

NB: If one of you from the list is actually reading this, please do get in touch by all means. This simple course of action takes you immediately to the privileged Number One spot, along with a date one evening, filled with charm, wit and banter with my fine self.

* This list is subject to change. Well, of course it is.

Bud...

Well, the cast list was finally announced at 1am on Friday, much like the General Elections, the flurry of excitement throughout the day between fellow Centre Stagers, slowly petered out as and when people got tired of waiting. Friday morning arrived and I checked my email to see if I had managed to bag the title role of 'Bat Boy' himself and... no, I didn't get it. I'm a tad gutted as you can imagine.

If this was an Oscar press release, I'd probably be saying something like, "It was just an honour to be nominated, I pass on my warm hearted congratulations to the lucky winner" or something as equally anodyne. Thankfully, I'm not. This is my blog and I can rant if I want to. I suppose the experience of taking part in one show and spending hours of preparation for this audition allows me some justified resentment. I'm not ungrateful for the part I have been given, the role of Bud the West Virginian farmer and I'm also over the moon to be part of another show. It's just that there aren't many leading roles in musicals I could realistically go for, what with my stature and looks. Plus, the role of Bat Boy required someone to be odd and quirky, funny yet have a vunerable and angry side and on also on a technical level, have a wide vocal range, which I have. So for me, this was a role I thought I had a decent chance in getting. I, along with others are taken aback it's gone to a tall good looking person, not my first vision of what the character should be. I admit, I'm not the strongest dancer in the eyes of the choregrapher (and I'm working on that with my weekly tap classes) and I'm sure my audition wasn't perfect. I am pleased I tried my best though and I hoped I made them see what I'm capable of. One day I'll get to belt out some heart-felt songs in front of an audience of family and friends. Something I was really keen in doing, especially before I escape this country later in the year.

I'm sure in the next couple of weeks when the show gets going, I along with others, who are more disappointed than I am, will get over it and start mucking in and concentrate on making it another great show.

Perhaps I'll do a Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls and do such a knock out supporting performance, they'll have to despense tremendous amounts of praise on me.

Okay, overly warped acting ego finished. Over and Out.

A boy with fangs in his mouth...

The read through for 'Bat Boy' was essentially, a miniature reunion for Centre Stage members. As we congregated together to hear the plans for the new show, it was as if someone had flicked a 'rewind' button, that had taken us back four months, yet this time faces were familiar with banter and gossip in full flow and without trepidation. We perched once more on the hard plastic moulded school chairs that are only found in school assembly halls and Women Institute meetings, listening to the director's take on the show he had in mind for us. It sounded bigger and more exciting than I imagined. The chance to be with the gang again is enough to lift everyone's spirits, despite what reservations anyone has about the actual show.

Auditions for the show are being held next Sunday. Time to practice. Especially as I got into the last show solely on the fact I was 'A Boy'. Time to prove I can actually sing, dance and act. Well, sing, dance and act better than last time I stood in front of them and auditioned.

This Year I...

... said goodbye to my flat mate ... and hello to her again in Melbourne two weeks later ... saw Madam Butterfly at the Sydney Opera House ... jumped out of a plane at 14,000 feet ... swam the Great Barrier Reef ... trekked a rainforest ... accidently convinced a new friend I belonged to a cult ... wasted money on an upmarket dating agency ... made friends with my neighbours ... finally got to go to the Ivy, and found it overrated ... fullfilled an old resolution by finally joining an Am Dram group ... bought tap shoes ... got to see Idina Menzel soar on Opening Night ... read at my best friend's wedding ... mistook Beverley Knight for Beverley Knight ... partied all night for the first time in years ... hugged a 6ft 2" sailor ... sang at the Royal Albert Hall ...

... started a blog.

Happy New Year everyone. May 2007 bring many exciting new changes to your life!

The Boys...

For all intents and purposes, I have never belonged to a group, a 'posse', a 'collective', a 'gang'. As far as I can remember, being the new boy at school sort of hindered that achievement in social climbing. But here I am, being referred to as one of 'The Boys' this week - namely Matt, Charlie, Murray and myself, the three dudes from Centre Stage who are always seen together apparently. Strange, as I never noticed it forming but obviously observers have picked up on it and decided to label us.

I've always whinged repeatedly I'm too straight for the gay world and too gay for the straight world, hence me never finding an intimate group of people to call my own. I've always had many one-to-one friendships, occasionally they know each other through random coincidences like work or university, but most of are definitely individual friendships I have cultivated over the years. It has been an intense few months, and perhaps my observations of new friends maybe short-lived and superficial, I sincerely hope not, but these past few weeks have been a strange learning curve when it has come to people and what makes a connection happen when it comes to 'making friends'. I've likened it to driving lessons. You can either learn to drive gradually over a period of months or years or go on a two week crash course and get your licence by the end of it. Joining Centre Stage put me through a similar assault course when it came to making new acquaintances. You learn very quickly who you like and even who you despise and can't stand the sight of. Those you do get on with, you get on with incredibly well and some have become as close as my existing long-term friendships. It all sounds terribly gushy and overly analytical to be making this point, but I have made great friends in Charlie, Murray and Matt and I hope it grows to become something I value greatly. Like most things, time will tell and this will probably be the only time I put it under the microscope.

It is a odd pleasure to be totally aware that you are 'bonding' with someone and they in turn, are also noticing it take place. That two or even three in this instance, disparate souls, who through a twist of fate and coincidence find themselves inhabiting the same living space and simply click into place. Perhaps this is quite a deep observation of three guys making friends with each other but as we said to each other week in a completely shit-faced, emotional state we're 'so glad we've met each other'. As you can imagine more hugs proceeded this 3am slurred conversation. Yes, I am effectively writing about getting pissed with your mates and telling them how much you love them, but if I went into further detail to why it meant so much, I'd probably lose the friends I have just gained.

I could have said becoming mates with Murray, Matt and Charlie has given me a warm glow inside but that would have made me sound like a Care Bear and requires less prose.

If I am on my tod again a few months time, sans 'The Boys' please of course skirt round the subject and never mention this entry to me again. On the otherhand things could be changing for the better and I do have a good track record of keeping friends, so I shouldn't be embarrassed by celebrating it.

Behind the curtain...

It's been a long time since I've written in this thing and for good reason. As you may know, this month was going to be pretty intense what with 'Anything Goes' rehearsals and it culminating with 'Show Time' last week. I could write all sorts about the experience, it has conjured up a lot of mixed emotions, mostly positive I must add, and it has shown me what sort of new things I am capable of. I have made some unexpected new friends, rediscovered my 'chest' and 'head' voice and have learnt that tap shoes are cheaper if you 'bulk buy' from a catalogue. It was incredibly important for me to do something for myself at this stage in my life, to find focus and to get away from the elements in my life that were grinding me down. Talking to the friends I have made in the cast now, I wasn't the only one feeling the same way about my life when I considered joining. Whether this makes me a cliche or not, or just plain normal, who cares. Truth be told, it worked, and I discovered a side to me that I had forgotten about a long time ago. As much as I like to perform to friends, I have certainly mellowed over the years, pruning that side of my flamboyant personality into something vaguely acceptable for 'day-to-day' society. Actors usually tend to let this side of themselves overgrow and flourish into every part of their lives, leaving themselves a tad self-centred and overtly dramatic most of the time but also acquiring a 'steamrolller' sense of total confidence and magnetic appeal I find admirable in some respects, especially as I think far too much about how I am perceived and worry over the actions I take. This show, has bought a lot of confidence and warmth of enthusiasm I seem to have lost years ago. The experience did however make me slightly bitchy again, luckily other cast members remarked they felt the same way. So I didn't feel too bad about this unwanted and new personality trait and I've made a conscious effort to suppress it.

The variety of new people who are now a part of my life is also quite remarkable. They really are from a different mould all together. I've been so lucky to have shared this part of my life with them. As I nursed my 'aftershow party' hangovers with a fellow co-cast member, he remarked how much the show had changed his life, given him a new found passion, something to think about outside work, that he no longer felt 'lost'. You can't help feeling totally beholden and in awe of that. Something so simple as an after work hobby could mean so much to someone. On reflection, it has undoubtably breathed new life into my stale routine too. The emotional and intense path has thrust some issues to the forefront of my subconsciousness, many of which I have failed to address for years. There is nothing like doing something that scares you, in order to beat your fears and build a sense of internal growth. Along with the eccentric personalities who have crossed my path, and without sounding cringeworthy, I hope I've made some true long term friends out of the show. Diva personalities and weirdos aside, there are definitely a select few, that over time, I can see, not only belting out a show tune with, but also laughing in a crowded bar at 3am or having a heart-to-heart with over a piece of badly made toast. The ever popular Charles is definitely one of them. He's surprised me in so many ways and he's probably not aware that over these past few months, he's taught me a lot of life lessons and shown me how to be focused and believe in yourself. I need to thank him for that.

So, onwards. Questions about 2007 and my future plans have drifted into my thoughts. I want to do 'Bat Boy', the next Centre Stage show. Again, it will take up a huge chunk of my life. I do have to think about seriously confirming my Australia plans in the new year. Life has thrown me an interesting curve ball, I just have to use it to its advantage now.

Some Shots of the Show...

Yes, we finally did it!







To see all the photos from our 'Anything Goes' production click here.

24/7 Tap

We've sold out the entire run for Anything Goes! I am humming the tenor tunes for the main numbers whilst on the train platform every morning. I am tapping my trainers to the beat of the music under my desk at work. My mind wanders whilst talking to clients, as I begin to ponder what is my line after Moonface says "I'm a Missionary". Yes, the show is now fully engrained into my day-to-day life and I feel as though I can't escape the immaculately tailored clutches of Mr Cole Porter.

It's Showtime!

Charlie says....

You may remember me mentioning Charlie, the new boy in our Am Dram group for Anything Goes. I briefly mentioned him a while back. Well, I thought I'd mention him again, as I quite like mentioning him now to friends. Actually, everyone in the company keeps mentioning him. In fact, most of us know our markers for certain dance routines, simply based on knowing where we're standing in relation to where Charlie is. Yes, the ladies giggle and swoon as if they truly were 1920s flapper girls, all in awe of an incredibly charming environmental lawyer with boyish good looks who is apparently single, and well, actually straight! The gays amongst us, flirt, try and catch glances of his arms when the moment allows and resist trying to manhandle him in the wings.

I'm in the terrible, terrible, terrible position where most of the dance numbers have me holding his hand, or holding his waist, or having our arms linked, or in one scene, picked up and carried off by him. The director and choreographer obviously see the comic potential between the two of us with our extreme differences in height. Despite all this overblown cooing from all directions, I have to say, Charlie is a phenomenally nice guy. Cast the mop of thick jet black hair, cheeky eyebrows, chest like a bow of a ship and arms of Roman statuesque proportions aside - he's genuinely very sweet, very sincere and makes a conscious effort with everyone around him. I admire that, as I try and do the same. And we've now bonded. Well, I'd like to think we have.

He insists on being my partner at every opportunity, as if I am some font of knowledge concerning all things am dram and has even asked to meet up outside of rehearsals to practise even more. What is a boy to do? I suppose I must yield to his demands. What a cross to bear indeed, I hear you cry. It's terribly flattering as a performer to have such new found adoration from a colleague. I answered my phone late on Thursday night to discover it was Charlie on the other end, belting all the different song lyrics to 'Anything Goes'. This went on for about ten minutes. He was very chuffed with himself and wanted to tell me apparently and I just wanted to hug him for all his efforts.

Anyway, this was a very long note to really say "Here's a photo of Charlie, the good-lookin' one from my Am Dram group."

Two Left Feet

I think too much. This is a well known fact amongst people who know me. My friend Becky describes it as when I have one of my 'Woody Allen' moments. It's just the way I am, I can't relax or enjoy myself half the time, as I'm ruminating over what could happen next, with a leaning towards the 'glass half empty' most of time. To most, I project a persona of enthusiasm and 'glass half full' but my close friends know I fret and fidget. Much like a graceful swan paddling furiously with his big webbed feet, so he doesn't get dragged into the current of the river.

I can't think for the life of me what to write about tonight. A cancelled date has thrown me into a bit of a melancholy this evening, well it wasn't a date, I was just looking forward to meeting someone new who I have a bit in common with thats all. I'd rather not project all woes onto my blog tonight though. I did have a great time yesterday at Centre Stage, doing the first dance rehearsal for the show. Bugger, there's a lot to learn. We had a new boy start called Charlie, but more about him later when there's something to tell. Needless to say, half of us melted like a tub of margarine left on window sill when he walked in. At 6ft 4", I think I'll just admire him from a distance for now. The photo is of my view from my bed. It's like having a live picture frame to think right through into infinity.

Or it could just be a Velux window.

In Olden Days...

Well, I auditioned for an Amateur Dramatics Society production of Anything Goes on Tuesday. Not sure if they felt sorry for me or if they just desperately need more boys, but they've offered me a part in the Chorus. Based on the audition, I am amazed by this. I believe 'rusty' was the word that sprang to mind as I tried to mimmick the dance routine and mumble my way through a score I was as vaguely familiar with. I got frowns from individuals who obviously thought I wasn't taking it very seriously. Remarks like "I've been doing this for 13 years now, a marvellous way to pass time" and "I've only done the Grosvenor Light Operatic Society, this sounded like something easier and less demanding" were probably designed to put me in my place. But hey, like that was going to discourage me in making a complete tit out of myself. I am truly grateful of 'Colonel Henge' for letting me know about this last minute and I'm making it up to him later this week by getting him a place running for Whizz-Kidz for next year's London Marathon, who are a client of mine.

First dance rehearsal is apparently next Weds. "How spiffing!" as Lord Evelyn would say.