Temporary...

I watched John Bucchino tonight. Yes, you know John Bucchino? John? Okay I admit, I didn't know who he was either until about a month ago. I was first introduced to his music when Jeremy picked one of his songs for me to sing. I did a bit of digging and downloading and discovered a whole wealth of staggeringly beautiful songs. Many of which have been sung by Broadway greats such as Liza Minnelli, Kristen Chenoweth, Patti Lupone etc. He's also penned a lesser known musical called 'A Catered Affair'. I've fallen in love with his music a bit as it's the right combination of wry humour and the bittersweet that I love to sing about. He's friends with Stephen Sondheim and Stephen Schwartz apparently. I don't know if they've had any direct influence with his writing but I wouldn't be surprised if they have. He performed a amazing little number tonight about simply chatting up a good-looking bar man and fantasizing about taking him home. It was both awkward, candid and hilariously real. I'm currently learning his song 'Not A Cloud In The Sky' about an obsessive, control freak who is trying not to flip out about the fact his lover is actually dying of AIDS. I know it doesn't sound like a bundle of laughs but check his songs out, I dare you not to be moved by them.

Here is a video of a very talent lady called Patti Loach singing 'Temporary', a song of he wrote involving how a mother explains to her young son why his father who is off fighting in some war, might not come home. I love this song, it's so tender and loving and heartbreaking at the same time. The camera work is dodgy at the start but the sound quality is pretty good for a self recorded video.

The Man who taught me how to sing

This is Jeremy.

I've been talking about him a lot. And for once not in a 'Oh God, another boy Richard has fallen for which will all end in tears' sense. Jeremy is in fact my singing teacher or 'Vocal Coach' as many prefer to be called. I've been seeing Jeremy for the last five months or so, he's been a blessing in disguise, not only has he taught me a huge amount about my voice and capabilities but the regularity of his lessons and the banter that comes with it has helped me settle into at least one form of routine out here in Sydney. He's a performer himself and very funny indeed too.

I go every Tuesday at 6.45pm. We do vocal warm ups. This involves varying degrees of 'meowing', 'sirens', 'sipping', 'yeahs' and surprisingly actual singing of some scales. I've gone from thinking I was a baritone back in the UK to actually being told I have the potential to be a high tenor. All "very exciting" as an trained performer would say.

I would have only got to this level, had it not been for Jeremy's ruthless training, and strict guidance. Constant beating with his ruler. I'm kidding, but he gets close. Seriously, I've learned so much and even surprised myself. Many would laugh but my most common instruction is to 'sing less, listen more and close your mouth'.

I'm now struggling with Italian arias (singing opera and trying to say the words if in my own mother tongue and not on an 18-30 holiday tour operator is hard work) and have several musical numbers under my belt now which is great. I'm apparently very loud. No surprise there you all shout. I must be channeling an inner Ethel or something.

Jeremy was in Spamalot recently in Melbourne and I have all my fingers and toes crossed for him as I know he'll be auditioning for Mary Poppins soon!

So where the bloody hell am I?....

So it's been a while since I talked about myself. Ironic for a blog.

My random observations are probably not going to assure the casual reader that I'm fine and doing well. I fear my writing might meander once more into more profound thoughts and people will start turning off in their droves like when when Harry Secombe used to start singing on his religious programme Highway.

The allure of 'starting anew' is now bringing new hardened realities to the forefront and I'm realising now what it really takes to start again and the feeling of being out of place when I could be at home with all things familiar is a conundrum indeed for a brain like mine which loves to churn things through unnecessarily.

My life here at the moment is a bit like being at a sophisticated dinner party and having to wear someone else's clothes after perhaps being caught in the rain or after accidentally spilling spaghetti down my front. I'm sitting there, smiling away, feeling slightly aware of myself, thinking I really should sort myself out and get myself into something more 'Me' or vaguely familiar at least. While I sit there thinking this, all the other guests at the dinner table are giving me weak smiles as they go about their own conversations and I have no choice but to look down at the XL large sweater I've been given to wear, only realising it has the words "30 Years Old. Experiencing Quarter Life Crisis. Out Of Place But Willing" emblazoned on it.

It's a personal mental holiday. I am on leave. On sabbatical if you must. And being without goals at the moment disturbs me somewhat.

There is excitement to be had regarding my vocal tuition or in layman's terms my 'Singing Lessons' though.

As Kirstie Walk would say "More on this later..."

Behind the curtain...

It's been a long time since I've written in this thing and for good reason. As you may know, this month was going to be pretty intense what with 'Anything Goes' rehearsals and it culminating with 'Show Time' last week. I could write all sorts about the experience, it has conjured up a lot of mixed emotions, mostly positive I must add, and it has shown me what sort of new things I am capable of. I have made some unexpected new friends, rediscovered my 'chest' and 'head' voice and have learnt that tap shoes are cheaper if you 'bulk buy' from a catalogue. It was incredibly important for me to do something for myself at this stage in my life, to find focus and to get away from the elements in my life that were grinding me down. Talking to the friends I have made in the cast now, I wasn't the only one feeling the same way about my life when I considered joining. Whether this makes me a cliche or not, or just plain normal, who cares. Truth be told, it worked, and I discovered a side to me that I had forgotten about a long time ago. As much as I like to perform to friends, I have certainly mellowed over the years, pruning that side of my flamboyant personality into something vaguely acceptable for 'day-to-day' society. Actors usually tend to let this side of themselves overgrow and flourish into every part of their lives, leaving themselves a tad self-centred and overtly dramatic most of the time but also acquiring a 'steamrolller' sense of total confidence and magnetic appeal I find admirable in some respects, especially as I think far too much about how I am perceived and worry over the actions I take. This show, has bought a lot of confidence and warmth of enthusiasm I seem to have lost years ago. The experience did however make me slightly bitchy again, luckily other cast members remarked they felt the same way. So I didn't feel too bad about this unwanted and new personality trait and I've made a conscious effort to suppress it.

The variety of new people who are now a part of my life is also quite remarkable. They really are from a different mould all together. I've been so lucky to have shared this part of my life with them. As I nursed my 'aftershow party' hangovers with a fellow co-cast member, he remarked how much the show had changed his life, given him a new found passion, something to think about outside work, that he no longer felt 'lost'. You can't help feeling totally beholden and in awe of that. Something so simple as an after work hobby could mean so much to someone. On reflection, it has undoubtably breathed new life into my stale routine too. The emotional and intense path has thrust some issues to the forefront of my subconsciousness, many of which I have failed to address for years. There is nothing like doing something that scares you, in order to beat your fears and build a sense of internal growth. Along with the eccentric personalities who have crossed my path, and without sounding cringeworthy, I hope I've made some true long term friends out of the show. Diva personalities and weirdos aside, there are definitely a select few, that over time, I can see, not only belting out a show tune with, but also laughing in a crowded bar at 3am or having a heart-to-heart with over a piece of badly made toast. The ever popular Charles is definitely one of them. He's surprised me in so many ways and he's probably not aware that over these past few months, he's taught me a lot of life lessons and shown me how to be focused and believe in yourself. I need to thank him for that.

So, onwards. Questions about 2007 and my future plans have drifted into my thoughts. I want to do 'Bat Boy', the next Centre Stage show. Again, it will take up a huge chunk of my life. I do have to think about seriously confirming my Australia plans in the new year. Life has thrown me an interesting curve ball, I just have to use it to its advantage now.