• You hear "Got yourself into a bit of trouble I see" and "Been in the wars?" a lot.
• You can justify wearing all your loose baggy, shapeless clothes.
• There is no dignified way of wiping your own arse unless you do the more undignified act of letting someone else do it for you.
• Mere buttons and pistachios become Zen like puzzles to overcome.
• There are amazing uses for other body parts, for example your heel can be used to clean the buttocks.
• You get hit on.
• Strangers give you the sympathetic head tilt.
• Some strangers will still walk straight into you on purpose.
• Shoelaces aren't worth thinking about.
• Googling similar bone surgery operations to your own is not a good idea.
• Door handles and keys inside locks are the enemy.
• Sleep deprivation is something you have to get used to.
• Pink puss is not good.
• TV Box Sets save you from insanity.
• You tire of having to explain your injury to yet another shop assistant.
• You begin concocting new stories of how you got your injury - 'a Ferris Wheel accident' is one and 'saving Brazilian orphans from a house fire' is another.
• 'Bath Time' is an experience as thrilling as a five hour German opera.
• You can't go shopping. A packet of crisps becomes a three course evening meal.
• Your social life diminishes to the level of a 5 year old's.
• You are continually amazed who offers you their seat on the bus and more surprisingly at those who don't.
• The whole thing becomes incredibly tedious. So very, very tedious.
1 comment:
Pickle. Know that there's at least one more slightly patronising expression of sympathy just for you from back home in the UK.
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