What would Jane say...

I was wondering if Blogs had been around years ago, what great writers like Jane Austen would say on their Blogs. Their efforts would have been far more spectacular and full of wonderful prose than ours. I decided to write my current situation, as if Austen herself was sitting at my laptop, namely wondering where her quill went first, but composing my own life entanglements using her inevitable style. Enjoy!


Dearest Marie-Anne,

Alas, to find oneself without a prospective advancement in earnings and career, is a vexation indeed. Fear not, if the fates allow, a position will no doubt arise at my final moment of disparagement. We can only live in hope as ladies, we have little knowledge of the complexities that take up a working gentleman's day and must be content with hours of reading, needle work and practicing piano forté. I remain enthused, though trying I know, remain confident in my faith that my decisions are made in good sted.

On to Meryton, where I have news of an abundant nature concerning certain members of the cavalry (online men of a homosexual nature) that have past into town and have caught my eye. After meeting a Mr Bartholemew last week at the Society of Friends drinking establishment, in the depths of Soho. He is of three and twenty years, a musician at the Royal Albert Hall none the less and comes from a wealthy family. He is probably worth at least ten thousand pounds a year, as he has a residence in South Kensington and Clapham. At first his demeanor and enthusiastic nature was charming and elicited many ruminations of how my beauty was 'cute' and that I was a 'sexy fella'. But after several conversations of a mobile variety, the situation has since changed dramatically and I am led to believe he is quite keen or 'really into me' as they say in the modern quarters. His communications have been frequent and the attention much cherished after my long spell of singledom, although the messages with this 'Xxxxxx' signed along each message is rather worrying. An overuse of consonants to the extreme. As you can imagine, I have been all of a bother regarding this situation, especially as he is quite handsome, a spectacular kisser and has also implied via the means of a visual text, the girth of his groin. This is quite spectacular to behold and some I believe have complimented on its beauty and size. Encouragement to seek a mere carnal nature from our next meeting is a temptation to say the least and 'hard' to resist. He is a true fellow and I am enjoying his company for now.

On to Mr Masonry, a resident of East Dulwich and a lawyer at that. A short, well built man of two and thirty years. He is of a fine face, although a little reserved in his speech and keeps conversation to the essential matters in hand. This has not greatly inspired me and over the past weeks he has postponed our engagement no less than three times. On one occasion, canceling our meeting to accept a delivery of chairs from John Lewis, Purveyors of Fine Furniture. We have meet upon two occasions and they have been perfectly charming, enjoying my wit and flirtations, yet has remained obscure in his decisions about me I feel. His enthusiasm to watch the moving picture 'Brokeback Mountain' every week, in order to reminisce his previous partner, leads me to believe, he may not be over his last love.

As always my dearest Marie-Anne, I have saved the best story till last. For over a month, I had been conversing most eloquently with a young gentlemen called Colonel Henge, he works in Housing. He is such a fine figure of a man and is of six and twenty years of age and resides in Clapham after just purchasing a small maisonette. He stands five feet and ten inches tall and carries full head of blonde hair. His pictures are very becoming and he had responded well to mine. When I first laid eyes on his profile, I mused that he was far too handsome to even consider responding to a message from my mere self. But he expressed much humour, a passion for penguins, a love of literature and film including 'The Muppets Christmas Carol' and 'Sense & Sensibility' (which I believe is based on a family situation near here). He had received a dictionary and thesaurus for his birthday, uncanny as I have received such birthday gifts. Our familiar passions and items in common have made me believe he is quite the genuine sort indeed. We spent much correspondence over the last few weeks and this has elicited a most charming rapport, he is both polite and full of questions about myself as well as answering my own queries about his credentials. This natural conversation had been most unexpected and was most assuring pertaining it's future possibilities. So much so, I suggested an official dinner engagement on the Friday, to which he responded with much enthusiasm and vigor. Yet alas, the ease of this situation was brought to an abrupt halt, after Colonel Henge had in fact met another gentleman since the agreement of dinner arrangement and had decided to pursue this assignation and not mine. I was bought this news of his decision by carriageless letter only two days prior to the soiree and as you can imagine, was most disappointed by the news. So much so, I may have over reacted somewhat and burned all his correspondence in a fit of melancholy. I was taken aback by receiving further correspondence from Colonel Henge, informing me despite the change in situation, he found me a fine fellow indeed, impressed by my love of musicals and honest nature and worthy of friendship at least. For this I am glad.

My daily chores have become tiresome and I have decided to seek fortunes in another place, namely the country of Australia by this time next year after much deliberation about my future and goals. I have been making long, hard decisions about what is important in my life and what I would like to achieve. See, my dear Marie-Anne, I too have face much drama these last few months. Alas, I must remain positive and thankful of the achievements I do possess and the love of friends like you around me.

To when we dine at Pemberly again. I must go forth and find my Darcy.

Yours

x Emily x